Progressive Americans vs. Misogynist Muslims

American Progressives are way more advanced than those fascists in the Middle East. Surely the less advanced people of the world are humbled by the enlightenment and the maturity of the Progressive Americans.

The news this week saw examples of American Progressivism and Muslim Fascism/Misogyny, but to fully understand how the two compare, we must first consider a scenario that should seem eminently plausible to the typical American Progressive:

Imagine an upper class English speaking high school in Egypt where a 15-year-old school boy, Larry, is continuously talking about how macho he is, he insults women and more effeminate boys, and he frequently makes sexual advances to 14-year-old school girls who are not interested. Larry tries to always be the center of attention. He also insists that everyone call him Macho Man. He wears jack boots, leather jacket, saved head, tattoos, smelly cologne, and a rolled up sock creating a bulge in his crotch – but he is also wearing his school uniform, because his school has a policy that students must wear the school uniform and not dress or act in a disruptive manner.

Now suppose all the kids think the school policy is stupid and fascist, but they also think this Larry is an asshole and can't understand why the school lets him get away with it.

The school administrators are all men who think his macho flamboyance is cool – a rare thing that must be protected and even celebrated, so they think other people should just get used to it. Now imagine there is a 14-year-old girl, Brenda, in his class who likes to quote Gloria Steinem. She says, "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle." Predictably, Larry taunts her and makes advances because he knows how much it upsets her, which causes the other kids to make fun of Brenda for being so angry all the time.

One day Larry was taunting Brenda in front of everyone and the vice principal noticed her anger and wagged his finger at her. All the kids laughed at Brenda. A few days later, she walked up behind Larry in class and shot him in the back of the head twice.

While Brenda was on trial, some who sympathized with Larry occasionally taunted her mother. Then her mother died from a head injury. The police said her mother fell and hit her head.

Although Brenda was 14, the judge sentenced her to 21 years in prison to be served after she graduated from Juvenile Detention at 18. Meanwhile, the biased media would only show images of Larry when he was a charming 10 year old – as if that is who Brenda shot.

No doubt, the typical Progressive Americans would be apoplectic upon learning of Brenda’s suffering at school and again at the harsh sentence, all resulting from the same outrageous systemic bias. No doubt, the most Progressive Americans would feel like Larry “had it coming.”

Of course, Brenda was an extremist. For example, we all know that getting a man is the number one priority for just about every woman. It is simply the result of evolution. So why would Brenda be so angry about it? The answer is because she was only 14. Eventually she might become a lovely person who could laugh at her youthful idiocy, but she was in a system that was intolerant of her particular brand of immaturity. Now she will never have that chance, and she will just get angrier and angrier.

I crafted the case of Brenda and Larry to be an exact parallel to a story about Brandon and Larry from 12/19/2011 on CNN from the most progressive state, California, where 15-year-old Larry was killed by 14-year-old Brandon. In California, the systemic bias was intolerant of Brandon's particular brand of immaturity. In California, it was Brandon McInerney who shot the flamboyant asshole, and homosexual, Larry, who taunted him in violation of school policy under the protection of the lesbian vice-principle who encouraged Larry.

It was the systemic bias of the American media who would only show pictures of Larry when he was a cute 10 year old – as if that is who Brandon shot. It was the systemic bias of the American courts that sentenced Brandon to 21 years in prison after he graduates from Juvenile Detention at 18. Now he will never have the chance to mature, and he will just get angrier and angrier.

Are the typical Progressive Americans apoplectic upon learning of Brandon’s suffering at school and again at the harsh sentence, all resulting from the same outrageous systemic bias? Do the most Progressive Americans feel like Larry “had it coming?”

No! Progressive Americans feel like Brandon had it coming!

Whereas, we ordinary people see these cases as exact parallels, Progressive Americans see these cases as exact opposites!

We ordinary people see progressivism’s heavy handed double standards as fascism and hypocrisy; however …

Progressives are so smart that what seems like extreme cognitive dissonance to us is actually quite clear to them.  Progressives understand that they are not hypocritical because the identities of the perpetrators and victims is what really matters. For example, are they gay/straight, male/female, progressive/conservative, rich/poor, black/white, etc. Progressives are thus not hypocritical because they are consistent. For example, they always side with gay over straight.

Progressives are so smart that what seems like pure fascism to us is actually  quite clear to them. Progressives understand their actions are never fascist because … the media never call it that.

We ordinary people just don’t understand because we are so … ordinary.

Clearly, American Progressives are way more advanced than those fascists in the Middle East. Surely the less advanced people of the world are humbled by the enlightenment and the maturity of the Progressive Americans.